


hotline - phan

by knightsten



Category: Phandom
Genre: M/M, Suicide, hotline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-21 03:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 65
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11935173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightsten/pseuds/knightsten
Summary: where dan tries calling a suicide helpline but accidentally calls phil.





	1. 1

phil's phone rang.

nobody knows phil's number.


	2. 2

the call was from an unknown number. obviously.

his hands shook as he picked up the phone and answered it.


	3. 3

"hello?" phil nervously said into the speaker.

it's quiet for a moment before phil heard a fragile voice reply.


	4. 4

"h-hello? is this the london suicide hotline?" the voice quietly asked.

phil's heart dropped into his shoes and shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if the london suicide hotline is a real thing but just pretend it is for this story


	5. 5

"i-i'm sorry, it's not." phil replied as politely as he could.

"oh. sorry for wasting your time. i must've gotten the wrong number." the boy on the other end said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason this has 412 hits so shameless self promo lmao: follow me on wattpad @pickledlemons


	6. 6

"no, wait, please stay for a second." phil begs the guy.

"why should i stay, i couldn't even call the right number and now i'm just wasting a stranger's time. it's all i ever so, annoy and drive people away. oh god, this must've been a sign, i should just be dead."


	7. 7

phil could hear the other person breaking down on the other end.

"hey, hey, it's going to be okay."


	8. 8

"are you sure?" the guy said and sniffed.

"yeah, everything will be alright. if you ever need to talk, just call me. add me into your contacts, my name is phil."


	9. 9

"my name is dan."


	10. 10

"okay dan, i have to go to work, but promise me you won't hurt yourself? i'm going to call you later to check on you."

"i promise."


	11. 11

"okay, bye." phil awkwardly ended the phone call and headed out the door.


	12. 12

all day at work, phil was thinking of dan. he had school tomorrow, so hopefully dan wouldn't call tomorrow during then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by school i mean university/college  
> 


	13. 13

phil got home an hour late at around 10pm. he texted the number he had put in as dan's.

**phil: hey, how old are you by the way?**


	14. 14

dan didn't answer.


	15. 15

phil immediately thought of the worst, that dan had broken the promise he made earlier that day.

**phil: dan? are you there? are okay?**


	16. 16

phil knew he couldn't stay up all night waiting for dan to reply, so he put his text notification sound up as high as it would go and tried to sleep.


	17. 17

phil woke up the next morning and realized that he hadn't woken up in the middle of the night to his phone going off. dan hadn't texted back, and he started worrying more.


	18. 18

he flipped he phone over and felt his heart pounding in his chest in anticipation.

he clicked the screen on.


	19. 19

there was no text reply.


	20. 20

but there was a missed call from dan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are u guys actually enjoying this?


	21. 21

phil's heart calmed down instantly and he saw that dan had called only less than an hour ago.


	22. 22

phil immediately called him back and waited for dan to answer.

the ringing noise on the other side was continuing for an alarmingly long time.


	23. 23

dan picked up, though.

"hello? phil?" dan asked.

"dan, why didn't you reply to my texts? you had me worried sick!" phil said back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry about all the suspense lol


	24. 24

"sorry, i saw them but i was just so tired yesterday, i forgot to reply."

"oh. well, could you answer my question? you don't have to, i'm just curious."


	25. 25

"i'm 19. how old are you? i've kind of been hoping that i haven't been talking to a creepy 60 year old man who lives in his basement and wears necklaces of people's teeth." dan said.  
phil was just silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo if anyone is confused about why i'm writing this one or two sentences at a time, it's mainly because it's a lot easier for me to write and i've enjoyed books written like this. also, i'm working on another story besides this one that i was hoping would be more popular than this one (but that's obviously not happening lol). every chapter in that story has at least 1k words, so it takes a lot longer for me to write that one. i haven't updated that story (50 words for murder) in over a month, so that's what i'm working on right now. hopefully i'll be able to update this while i'm writing that one. this is longer than this entire story so far so i'm gonna go, bye i hope you have a nice day and enjoy this fic <3 (have a keyboard heart because i'm cheesy like that)(it's supposed to be cheesy)(ok bye)


	26. 26

"that was really oddly specific. i'm 21, though." phil replied.

"sorry."

"stop saying sorry so much, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"so- okay."


	27. 27

"how was your day?" phil asked dan, getting into a more comfortable position to talk to him in.

"it was okay i guess. not good but not bad." dan replied with a sigh afterwards.


	28. 28

"that's good. do you feel okay?" phil asked.

"not really, but i never do." dan said.

"do i need to come over and make sure you're okay? i will if i have to. i'll run to your house if i have to."


	29. 29

"you don't even really know me, why are you so eager to help me?" dan asked, truely confused.


	30. 30

"because nobody deserves what you're going through, and i want to help you get through it." phil confidently replied back. he was being mostly honest, dan had sparked something in phil that made it seem like it was his job to help him.

"but-" dan started, but the line went dead.


	31. 31

phil was confused but not panicking. or yet anyways.


	32. 32

phil sent a quick text to dan.

**phil: what happened?**

and then he waited. he looked at the time. it was around the time that phil usually went to bed, but he didn't want to go to bed this worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is getting really boring and i don't know where it's going,,


	33. 33

he was about to turn off his lights and call it a day when his phone lit up.

he had never ran as fast as he did just then to get to his phone.


	34. 34

**dan: sorry my mum came in my room  
phil: it's okay   
phil: hey i want to ask you something tomorrow **


	35. 35

phil waited and waited as the three dots bounced up and down for at least a minute.

and then-  
 **dan: k**


	36. 36

it was the next day. phil had gotten home from work and was calling dan.

his boyfriend knocked on his bedroom door.


	37. 37

“hey phil? are you okay? you spend so much time in your room alone, i'm worried about you." troye's voice entered phil's room.


	38. 38

"uh, yeah, i'm okay baby, i'll be out in a second."  
he heard troye sigh and walk away from the door.


	39. 39

"b-baby?" dan stuttered through the phone. "phil..."

"that wasn't for you, sorry. i was talking to my boyfriend troye. i haven't been able to be around him much lately because i've been too invested in talking to you." phil replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u all see dan's new video,, bc i am so proud of him,,


	40. 40

"oh, sorry. i guess i need to go then." dan said and hung up the phone before phil could protest.


	41. 41

later that night, phil was laying in bed, cuddling troye, and slowly falling asleep.

dan was laying in bed, crying and hating himself for how he ruined phil’s life too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(((


	42. 42

phil woke up with troye's arms wrapped around his waist. troye's breath was soft and quiet. phil grabbed his phone from the nightstand and texted dan.

**phil: hey dan?**

**phil: i think we should meet up**


	43. 43

**dan: no**


	44. 44

**phil: why not?? come on, please?**

**dan: you won’t like me**

**phil: yes i will, and this is why we should meet up**

**phil: maybe you hearing me say “i care about you” in person will help**

**dan: i’ve gotta go**

**phil: :(**


	45. 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning!!!!

dan had relapsed, and really bad too.

he counted how many days clean he was on his calendar. the last time he wrote a 0, we was determined to stay clean for the rest of his life.

he had gotten pretty far, with the number for yesterday at 188. it wasn’t exactly too far, but it was definitely the longest he had been clean and he was proud.

but not happy.

he felt like he was a balloon that had too much air in it, like he was about to burst.

as he ran the blade over his thigh, he felt the air slowly leaking out. he was relieved and suddenly at peace.

within an hour, both of his thighs, front and back, were littered with scars.

dan broke down crying, he had been so strong for so long, but he just threw it all away.

and now he felt better, which scared the living hell out of him.

he wrote a 0 for that day.

october 15.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is taking place in 2009 i guess?? it’s not going to be like what happened irl though


	46. 46

dan woke with his legs stinging and his phone buzzing. he saw that phil was calling to facetime.

dan denied the call.


	47. 47

phil sat at his dining table with his phone in his hands. why was dan so stubborn? phil just wanted to help dan get better, but dan was blocking him out of his life.

phil didn’t like it.

and neither did dan.


	48. 48

**phil: come on dan**

**phil: please**

**phil: i'll stop bugging you if you facetime me**

_phil would like to facetime  
dan has denied_

**phil: PLEASE**

**phil: i just want to know if you’re okay**

**dan: i’m fine**

**dan: we can facetime tomorrow when i’m not so tired**

**phil: omg**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dan didn’t fall out of his chair this year for spooky week im disappointed but surprised


	49. 49

phil's body shook with anxiousness and excitement as he waited for dan to facetime him.


	50. 50

_10:34_  
dan would like to facetime  
phil has accepted 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey this is kinda popular i guess so shameless self promo :  
> add me on sc (haii.llee) and instagram (phillesterol)


	51. 51

a boy with brown eyes and curly hair the same hue appeared on screen.

they both stared at each other for a moment.


	52. 52

"dan... i think i know you."


	53. 53

"well of course you know me, we've been texting each other."

"no, i think i know you in real life. howell?"


	54. 54

dan's face went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m not dead dw


	55. 55

"h-how do you know that?"


	56. 56

"i think we worked on a group project together at school."


	57. 57

"how do you remember that?" dan asked. phil's cheeks turned red.

"i thought you were-"


	58. 58

phil's phone died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psa i love awsten knight


	59. 59

_fuck it_ , phil thought.

he grabbed a portable charger, plugged his phone in, and started to drive to the school.


	60. 60

dan sat in the university's library with his head down on one of the tables.

he had an essay due tomorrow that he needed to finish in an hour and he couldn't find any motivation to do it.

the doors leading to the library suddenly flung open.


	61. 61

it was a middle aged balding man with a suitcase.

dan kept his head down on the desk.


	62. 62

right before the door swung shut, another person rushed in.

phil.


	63. 63

dan recognized him and quickly got up. his heart was racing as he ran towards phil, who had noticed dan.


	64. 64

dan ran into phil hard enough to knock him down. as they lay on the library floor, dan was overwhelmed with happiness, hugging phil.


	65. 65

phil giggled, taking in everything that was happening. dan pushed off of phil and looked directly into his eyes, still smiling.

"hey"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n- sorry i was gone for so long!!! i’ve been updating this story a ton on wattpad but i forgot about ao3 haha


End file.
